Inception

The title is fitting for a number of reasons.  I'm currently obsessed with the movie and watching it at every opportunity. But more importantly, this is the beginning of a journey. I should have started it a long time ago but there is no time like the present.

There are no words to express the importance of the journey I'm about to undertake. I'm sickly. And when I stop and think about how sickly I am I wonder how I will ever dig myself out of this. There's diabetes, PCOS, and the host of problems that accompany those diseases. The most difficult is the catch-22 that these diseases can become in your life. Doctors tell you that everything will be better once you lose weight. But they never mention the flip side (though it's no secret) that losing weight with these diseases is whole other battle in and of itself. I was just thinking back yesterday about how when I was a teenager if I wanted to lose a few pounds all I had to do was drink lots of water, cut out the junk, and make some more time for exercise. Now it is a commitment of mind and spirit that most people will never have to undertake. I think that may be the most discouraging part. Is knowing that even if I put in just as much effort as the average person, I won't see even half the results. Trust me, I've done it.

So maybe that is where my resolve must come from. I know that I have to give everything and change everything in order to make a difference. But maybe that isn't so bad...maybe not being able to half-ass it will make it stick. So it's starts today. I just got my new fitness videos in the mail yesterday.  It's called Physique 57 (check them out of facebook: http://www.facebook.com/Physique57). I'm excited because it looks it will be challenging but also help me build the kind of body I want. I'm always afraid that I'll get bulky, which if I worked out my already large muscles, I would! It's it's important for me to build long, lean muscles. I'm short and stocky so I need all the help I can get. Wish me luck.

I took these pics this morning. Now, granted this is a brand new, pretty flattering top (and I'm possibly sucking some in but I can't help it!) I still see what I can to change most. My tummy! I know I need to tone my arms, lift and firm my butt, and trim the back fat, but I would leave everything else as is if I could get rid of this gut. I mean, how many months pregnant am I supposed to look anyways?! So it's gotta go.